Climbing: Trust

Back around the time this blog went on hiatus, I took up a new sport: rock climbing. My school had just put in a gym right next to my dorm and, wouldn't you know it, I roped (haha) my roommate into climbing with me. We climbed a ton that first semester, but then things got busy the next year and we weren't living together, and I just dropped off of climbing. Not belaying, I do that at work so I've kept in practice, but actually being on the wall to climb.

Over the years, my ability waned, and so now I've been building it back up. I can consistently do 5.8s, but 5.9s are pretty hit or miss, and I struggle a lot with overhangs. I went climbing recently and was really trying to push myself to try some new techniques that would help me climb better. I was up on the wall, coming over an overhang, and it hit me that how much of this is about my mental state, rather than physical ability.

Sure I'm sore and I don't have all the muscle strength I once did, but also there's a lot of blocks I have in my head about what I can do. I know how high I can reach. I know that my climbing shoes grip the wall and can support me on very small holds. I know that I won't fall far, because I'm on belay, and I trust my belayers. But I still can't move past the 5.8s and really expand my climbing abilities. I'm stuck in "beginner" climbs.

I hope to some day move past this. But I wonder, what will it take?