Bibliosphere

We are collecting donations at work for my upcoming event: Girl Scouts Give Back Day! You can donate Birthday or Hygiene materials that will be used to make these kits through the linked Amazon wishlists. What is Girl Scouts Give Back Day? Well, it is an annual, state-wide day of service in my council. This is the second one I've organized, and it's the second year that it has been in this form. It's aimed to get Girl Scouts into their community & doing service.  This year, we are making kits for Utah Foster Care: teen hygiene kits and birthday kits (all ages). We're super excited to be offering this all over the state! So, if you are looking to help us make an impact, you can donate Birthday or Hygiene materials through Amazon!

I 100% meant to publish this October 1, but I was waiting for big news. I have that, I just can't share it quite yet. But suffice to say, it's going to be different. It's going to be ok, but it's going to be different.  I'm looking at a lot of changes. Some of them at work are coming into a more supervisory position, potentially more hours, and potentially changing a lot of processes. Now, work isn't the only area where there's changes. My home life is also going through changes, both related to and unrelated to work. Mostly I'm tired at this point. I'm trying my best, trying very hard, and there's a lot going on. As I juggle all of this, I'm unsure what the future will bring for many areas of my life.

 So, as the title says, I have been going on walks when it's 95 degrees out. Yes, 95. We had a couple of heat waves here, reaching record breaking 106 F. But, except for the very hottest of days, I have still been going on my walks, for the most part.  I have had a rough go this spring and summer due to a medication change and further issues with that. My life has been unbalanced, but I'm working on getting it back in shape. I do a lot of goal setting, managing a lot of the care items that people can just do, on their own, without a bunch of reminders. Or maybe things they don't even need, but I do.  I have a great support system, I really do. My friends are wonderful, continuing to invite me out when I've said no, texting encouragement. I love them all. I'm doing my best and it's going to get better. In other news, I spend a lot of time reading, surfing the internet, and, of course, working. I am running my first bilingual council program (an overnight, no less...

 I want a sign on my door at work that reads: "I'm trying my best, please be gentle with me." I want people to know that, even though my best no longer looks like it once did, it's still my best, and the best that I can do right now. Because I am suffering some of the worst symptoms of burnout I ever have. I am exhausted, emotionally and physically, and my executive function is trashed. I actually tossed out the idea of autistic burnout about a month ago, to my therapist. She said that it sounded plausible, or we agreed that it did. Autistic burnout is different though, from my burnout now, although honestly it's probably a combination at this point.  My brain does not work like other brains. All of my mental health conditions, my neurodiversity, make extra challenges in my work and life. The extra stress is extremely difficult, and I struggle with it on a daily basis. But it's invisible. I show up to work (most days) and I make an effort. I am accomplishing a...

 This month has been a challenge. The whole winter has been honestly. But I am moving forward and making progress, as always. I thought that I would share some wins from February: My large-scale work event served over 225 people throughout Utah, which is an attendance rate of about 70%. For a free event, this is a minor miracle. I survived initial orders for cookies, which is a feat in and of itself. I went on my first date in a year. I started walking more, a welcome reprieve from winter blues. The sun has been shining more too, making walking more appealing. I tried many new things, including an indoor dutch oven and a sumo mandarin. I finished 5 books (2 audio, 3 print). One was finished on February 1st though, so you can debate me on whether that counts. I did two illustrations, one of my friend and my 2024 bucket list and one comic. My St Baldricks fundraiser is almost over and I've raised almost $200 for childhood cancer research (full post on this soon). And last, but certai...

 One nice thing about my job (or actually a couple of nice things together) is that I have a ton of PTO (25 days a year, not including sick time, because I've been there over 5 years) and while I'm not able to take it as frequently as I'd like, I am able to take off the entire week before Christmas, in addition to getting the week between Christmas and New Year's off as a holiday week. I use this time to go to Wisconsin, spend time with my family, meet up with friends, etc. I am grateful to have a job where I can do this because I don't get to see my family a whole lot, and I've come to really enjoy my time with them. Sometimes I do feel a little left out - my siblings did a whole lot of growing up and bonding with my parents that I just didn't have growing up, so they have a different vibe with the four of them vs the five of us. But I'm working on developing those relationships, and so far it's slow going, but a start. I wrapped up work this year w...

 If April showers bring May flowers, what does December bring? December, the last month of the year, is both slow and a blur. At work, things tend to wind down, except for preparing for January, which brings cookie season. We tend to work less hours all the same, but I feel like it will be different this year with some of the drama happening. There's truly never a dull moment when working with a combination of volunteers and children at an organization with a somewhat complex structure. In my personal life, December passes quickly. Holiday activities give way to holiday travel, a visit to Wisconsin that always goes by faster than I think it will. This year I'm traveling for 11 days, which is longer than I have since college, when I'd spend the entire three week break at my parent's house. I'm looking forward to going back, although not the actual travel process. December brings the winter as well, with snow already started in my area. While I know in my heart that t...

 November is Native American Heritage Month and it's important to take time to learn, amidst an long history of misinformation and discrimination. I know that what I grew up learning is no longer something I would be comfortable teaching to children. At work, we're doing a 21-day Indigenous Anti-Racism Challenge. While we can go back and forth about whether we need to have challenges to motivate people towards antiracism goals, I think it's important nonetheless that they exist. I know that they have pushed many people towards learning and knowledge that they wouldn't otherwise have had. So I wanted to share some resources that I've been exposed to this month. First, the Smithsonian's Museum of the American Indian has this fantastic virtual exhibit to see all sorts of interesting artifacts and information. You can find it here . I also very much enjoyed this podcast from Teaching While White, a podcast dedicated to informing educators. I've listened to so...

 So I work for Girl Scouts in the program department, and part of my job is (surprise, surprise) to run programs. I was ambitious and ran a combination overnight and day program for the eclipse at our camp, since it was at 87% totality. Which, for an annual eclipse, is pretty darn close to "totality." For those of you unaware, an annular eclipse is when the moon passes in front of the sun, but it's closer to the earth, so there's a "ring of fire" surrounding the moon, which is actually the sun. Armed with a solar filtered telescope and a whole box of eclipse glasses, we took in the eclipse. I've never seen an eclipse. I don't remember any growing up, so the first one I learned about was the 2017 eclipse, which I did not end up seeing, something I do regret. Seeing an eclipse is a pretty special experience. I knew about the pinhole projectors, about the leaves on trees, the idea of what would happen, but I was unprepared. As the moon moved across the ...

 Summer is here (unless you say summer doesn't start until the solstice, but it's been over 80 here for weeks, so it's summer) and there's tons of great outdoor activities. After six summers working at camp and a grand total of 24 years of Girl Scouts, I've gotten to know a ton of great activities and resources. Here are some of my favorites: Build a bee hotel - buy small bee tubes and stuff them inside of a TP or paper towel tube Stargazing - start with the big dipper and work your way to harder to find constellations, or check out a local star party, as many of them are free and open to the public Go on a scavenger hunt hike or walk - make a list of things you hope to see then check them off as you go Do a soil experiment - using an egg carton, plant seeds for the same plant, then do something different to them such as using different fertilizers and natural additives Pressing flowers Pine cone crafts - literally so many to choose from Bird feeders - tons of optio...

 Recently I read a book because I knew that it would challenge me. While the language was a little bit more thesaurus-like than I usually read, it was more the content that I challenged myself with. This book was The Math Myth and Other STEM Delusions by Andrew Hacker, a professor of mathematics. First, let me say, I am a strong proponent of math (and STEM in general) education, and it's a huge part of my job. I also love math, and it was a really big reason that I picked engineering over pure science (not to say there isn't math in biology, it's just different). So I expected this book to challenge my views on how people should be taught mathematics. I actually found myself agreeing with most of the book. My biggest stumbling block was the section where it talked about there being too many STEM graduates, over what I've always heard of there not being enough. They presented a set of compelling statistics, from seemingly trustworthy sources. The book is a few years old...

While I used to struggle with talking about my own experiences with my brother and his treatment, since I took a break from the blog and advocacy, I've grown more comfortable talking about my family. I don't know why it really took that long to process, but I no longer feel the lump in my throat, heart pounding, as I think back. Recently I was at work, at camp, with the middle schoolers. I was talking to a parent and she mentioned that her son was in treatment for cancer. And we got to bond over this shared experience. It's always nice to bond with families, and I'm glad that this Girl Scout was able to see that there's a future for siblings too. Because when I was in the thick of it, I couldn't see that. I felt like it was going to be like that forever.  So this is a rambling way to say that I am grateful to have met this family today, and I hope to see them again.

Over the past few years, I've been exploring and learning more about inclusion, diversity, equity, and justice. Recently I attended a Zoom on exploring these topics and we watched this video: This video focuses on the "hidden curriculum," or the unspoken principles and expectations in a space. They are usually not obvious. Some examples used in the video include whether you should smile at strangers on the street if you're in NYC vs the midwest, or why all of the summer camp counselors are so goofy. The hidden curriculum is found in pretty much every space, but we may not think about it. When we're in a new space, we may not know the hidden curriculum. Someone may have told you not to smile and greet New Yorkers on the street, or your parents may have read about what camp is like to you before you went, but chances are you didn't learn it all ahead of time. Not knowing the hidden curriculum can make us feel like outsiders, a feeling we usually don't want i...

 So normally, I do a drawing of my New Year's resolutions, and it's usually basic stuff like taking care of myself and having hobbies. This year I decided to do a little different resolution. Rather than have a bunch of little resolutions, I decideded to have one big one: Have better work-life balance. Now, this is something I ' ve struggled with for years. It's very easy in a profession with nights and weekends, as an exempt staff, to be working just constantly. Checking your phone, checking email, making to dos. It's all part of work and it never seems to end. While I'm not perfect, I've certainly improved this year. I set a boundary about when I will and won't check my phone and email, and I mostly stick to it. I try to not come home only to work more, when I can help it. I manage my hours so that I don't have a ton of 50 hour weeks. And I work on practicing good self care so that work doesn't take it's heavy toll on me like it has in the ...