What is my best?

 I want a sign on my door at work that reads:

"I'm trying my best, please be gentle with me."

I want people to know that, even though my best no longer looks like it once did, it's still my best, and the best that I can do right now. Because I am suffering some of the worst symptoms of burnout I ever have. I am exhausted, emotionally and physically, and my executive function is trashed.

I actually tossed out the idea of autistic burnout about a month ago, to my therapist. She said that it sounded plausible, or we agreed that it did. Autistic burnout is different though, from my burnout now, although honestly it's probably a combination at this point. 

My brain does not work like other brains. All of my mental health conditions, my neurodiversity, make extra challenges in my work and life. The extra stress is extremely difficult, and I struggle with it on a daily basis. But it's invisible. I show up to work (most days) and I make an effort. I am accomplishing a lot still, running programs and working with kids, but I can't keep it up.

Why am I telling you this? Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm putting this out on a public blog, one that I've shared to friends and family, and coworkers. But I want to tell my whole story, not just the pretty parts. And part of my story is that I am in a position I love, and I am burnt out.

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